Let’s be honest — the phrase “self-care” can sometimes feel like a bit of a joke when you’re a mum. We’re told to take bubble baths and book massages, but what if you’re just trying to get through the day without reheating the same cup of tea five times and you don’t like baths?

For me, self-care isn’t about luxury — it’s about survival. It’s about finding tiny ways to stay connected to myself, even when life feels chaotic. So here’s my realistic self-care list — the things that actually help me feel human right now:

1. Finishing a hot drink in peace

Even if it’s just 10 minutes before the house wakes up or having a sleepy tea before bed. That first sip of hot tea or coffee? Bliss.

2. Walking

Sometimes it’s just a quick loop around the block after dinner. It clears my head and reminds me I have a body, not just a to-do list. I’ve recently invested into a walking pad and go on it for 10-20 minutes after each meal, it not only helps me keep my blood sugars down but helps my head feel less fuzzy.

3. Listening to something just for me

Whether it’s a podcast, audiobook, or a playlist that doesn’t include the Baby Shark soundtrack — I need adult noise in my life. I find that putting something on to listen to whilst I’m doing a 10 minute light mask or my skin care routine works wonders for me.

4. Saying ‘no’ without explaining

It’s still hard, but I’m learning to say no to things that drain me. I don’t owe anyone an explanation for protecting my energy. Some friends and family are struggling with this one, I think they sometimes forget that I work full time and have a child and I’m not the care free Gemma that could just answer there calls and texts at the drop of a hat. I’m trying to see it that the ones that matter wont mind me saying no and the ones that do, well that’s a them problem.

5. Letting go of “shoulds”

I’m trying to ditch the pressure to be the perfect mum. Some days, we have a lazy beige dinner and the house is a mess — and that’s OK.

6. Having a waffle Wednesday with friends

I’ve recently introduced my besties to this concept – basically we are all busy Mums who feel guilty for not responding on time or forgetting something. So now, on a Wednesday, we send each other voice notes of our weeks – what we are feeling, challenges, successes, ideas for meet ups, it could be anything. It’s like having your own personalised podcast for your friend group. This not only helps me, but I think it helps them too as all pressure is removed.

Self-care doesn’t have to be fancy or filtered. Sometimes, it’s just choosing yourself in small, quiet ways — and knowing that’s more than enough.